Phineas and Ferb go to Gravity Falls
by RebootHipster
Summary: As Phineas and his friends travel on vacation to Gravity Falls, they meet the Mystery Twins and embark on a dangerous adventure in order to seize the day. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz gets into all kinds of trouble in this strange new town.
1. Theme Song

There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation, 'till school comes along just to end it

so the annual problem for our generation is finding a good way to spend it… like maybe

hunting a monster, fighting some zombies, or fleeing from an army of gnomes,

discovering several things that don't exist, or making a legion of clones.

Extreme match making, stealing a time machine, singing karaoke

solving the mystery, cracking conspiracies, or planning the world's best party.

As you can see there's a whole lot of stuff to do spending summer in Gravity Falls

so stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all

so stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all.

(Candace: Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making another crossover!)


	2. Chapter 1

_This takes place after the episode "The Last Mabelcorn" of Gravity Falls and somewhere in the middle of season 4 of Phineas and Ferb. Enjoy the first chapter!_

The Flynn-Fletcher family vehicle raced through the woods on a busy highway. Over the noise of heavy trucks and loud engines rang out the loudest noise of all: Candace yelling, "MOMMM!"

Linda, sitting shotgun, and looking slightly amused, answered, "Yes, dear?"

"Why on earth are we going on a family trip… to Oregon? Oregon of all places!?' Candace complained, her head emerging between the front seats of the car.

"Candace, we've been through this," her mother replied, "your father is making an important business deal with a client, and we thought we could turn it into a fun family vacation."

"Dad, you couldn't have had a business deal in Florida or something? you know, Jeremy is there right now! He's probably on the beach, enjoying himself, surrounded by tons of scantily clad adolescent females—" Candace was cut off by her father, Lawrence.

"Candace, why don't you ever just relax, and enjoy yourself. I'm sure Jeremy will be more than faithful. Why, I know back when your mother and I were dating, I barely noticed any other women even existed!"

Lawrence flashed back to the two on a date in the nineties, at a fancy restaurant. A waitress walked up to the table and asked to take their order, and Lawrence stuck his fingers in his ears, closed his eyes, and sang England's national anthem.

"Ah, memories." said Linda, remembering the same thing.

"I don't know why I even talk to you guys." Candace murmured.

"Well, maybe you should, and I can't believe I'm saying this, focus on what your brothers are doing…" Linda suggested.

Candace turned her attention to the back seats, where Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford sat with Perry in a pet carrier. Phineas was holding a map of Oregon.

 _"_ Wow!" Phineas exclaimed, "According to this, the state of Oregon has the highest concentration of impossible anomalies in the entire country! And it looks like they all come from a little town called—"

Candace cut him off, "Wait a minute, why do you guys always get to bring your friends with you on our family trips? Don't they have anything better to do in their own lives?"

All the kids just stared at her. Then they answered all at once.

"Apparently not…" said Isabella.

"My parents are just happy I'm doing something out of the house." said Baljeet.

"Definitely for the sake of plot convenience." said Buford.

Candace groaned in exasperation.

"…as I was saying," Phineas continued, "the highest concentration of weirdness can be found in the town of Gravity Falls. Dad, where did you say we were going again?"

"Why, to the town of Gravity Falls. Do you reckon they're the same town?"

"I think the odds of there being two towns of the same name in the same state are pretty low, so yeah, I reckon. Ferb, I know what we're going to do today. Let's explore the mysteries of Gravity Falls!"

There was an awkward silence for a moment. Then Phineas spoke up.

"Anyone else feel slightly weird about saying that?"

"Very gimmicky," Ferb answered in his matter-of-fact way.

"Kinda feels like selling out." said Isabella.

"My fanboy sense is tingling." said Baljeet.

"Definitely for the sake of plot convenience." said Buford.

"Whatever, you guys can waste your time tracking down the supernatural, I'll be trying to get a descent cell signal so I can talk to Jeremy." Candace proclaimed before turning back around in her seat.

"You sure you don't want to come with us, Candace? It'll be fun!" Phineas said, leaning up to her seat.

"Fun? It's a dead end wild goose chase. The only mysteries of places like this are why people bother to come here. These supernatural stories are just ploys to scam tourists made up by old cheats like… like…"

Meanwhile, at the Mystery Shack, Dipper and Mabel sat watching TV as Stan entered the room.

"Like Grunkle Stan, that's who!" announced Stan proudly, waving his fist in the air.

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Grunkle Stan, why did you just say that?"

"Huh? I though there was lead up to it."

"…Nobody said anything…"

"Must've been thinking of something else. Weird. Carry on!" and Stan left.

Dipper, still raising an eyebrow, turned to look at Mabel, who just shrugged.


	3. Chapter 2

The Flynn-Fletcher car pulled up to the Mystery Shack, and people started getting out. Perry was let out of the carrier as everyone started walking towards the shack, with Candace waving her phone around. Stan stood waiting for the group of tourists on the porch.

"Ugh, I can't get cell reception anywhere!" Candace whined.

"Candace, why not focus on what's going on here, hmm? Look, a tourist trap!" her mom stated energetically.

Stan began his usual schtick. "Step right up, tourist idi- I mean, kind guests. See what types of magical malarky the Mystery Shack has to offer!"

"You can drop the act Stanford, It's me, the antique man. Lawrence Fletcher, and this is my family and their friends."

"Oh, the dealer, from the Tri-State Area. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Lawrence turned to face Linda. "Dear, you can take the kids to the lake, we'll just be here dealing and whatnot—"

"Actually, you know what, why don't you all come in for a tour? Entertains the kids, makes me money, what could be bad?" Stan interjected.

"Well, it does sound… interesting, at least." admitted Linda.

The children cheered, and Candace groaned.

Back in the TV room of the Mystery Shack, the TV was on UTBAH.

"We now return to the epic crossover of Ducktective and Horse in a Bookcase!"

On the TV, Ducktective stood in front of the horse in a bookcase and quacked dramatically. The subtitles read "Why is this horse… IN A BOOKCASE!?" A dramatic cord played.

"OH. MY. GOSH." gasped Mabel, her eyes widening.

Dipper groaned. "Ugh, crossovers are so lame. They're just lousy excuses for the producers to hype up two shows at once and make profit off of the idiots foolish enough to watch."

"Oh, come on, party pooper, learn to have a little fun! Why do you always have to be such a stick in the mud?" his sister inquired, whilst hugging waddles the pig.

"Mabel, this summer's been anything but fun for me. I thought solving the mysteries of Gravity Falls would be this great adventure, but now I'm just always looking over my shoulder for danger."

"What you need is another pet project for the summer, to take your mind off of all those scary things." Mabel said, waving her finger, in her signature Mabel-is-always-right fashion.

"What, like failed summer romance? I think we've both had our fair share of that." Dipper said, lashing out.

Mabel was upset by his jab. "We'll see about that, Mr. Grumpy Pants. The only reason you don't have any fun is because you get obsessed over things and get way too serious. I mean, just look at me! We're in the same boat here, and i manage to stay positive, happy, and absitively posilutely irregumpable!"

"Mabel, what language are you even speaking right now?"

"That's besides the point. I bet you you couldn't put down your dumb journal and have some summer fun for even a day."

"Fine. And I bet you couldn't stop flirting with and obsessing over every new guy you meet."

"Fine! You're on, bro!"

The twins shook hands, looks of determination spread across their faces.

"Alright, let's go have some summer fun." said Dipper.

From the gift shop came the bellowing voice of their Grunkle Stan. "KIDS! Come down here, there are some people you should meet!"

"Coming!" they answered in unison. They raced through the hall, eager to seize the day.


	4. Chapter 3

Back in the gift shop, Phineas pondered a great mystery with his friends.

"So… it's a Rock that looks like a face."

"Or maybe…" offered Baljeet, "it's a rock that looks like a face that looks like rock."

The group was in awe, but Candace was less than impressed. She walked over to Stan.

"Yo, creepy old guy! Why is there no signal in this place?"

Stan laughed so hard he had a coughing fit, and then went back to laughing. "Oh you're one of those. Whatchmacallems… teenagers! Yeah, those. Allow me to direct you to someone more of your caliber."

He pointed his thumb over his shoulder to the doorway, where Soos was standing, drinking Pitt. He gazed out the window, saw Gompers eating a can, and began to chew his can himself. Candace raised her eyebrow. "HIM?"

Stan turned around. "What, no! HER." He gestured over to the counter, then walked off, muttering "Good God, Soos…" as he face palmed and shook his head. Candace glanced over to where Stan had pointed, and saw the cashier wearing the name tag that read "Wendy". she was sitting with her boots up on the counter, reading a copy of Avoid Eye Contact Magazine. Candace walked over.

"So… do you guys have wifi or something, 'cause I can't get reception…"

Wendy looked up. "Oh yeah, dude, I totally get it. Let me guess, boyfriend you need to check up on?"

"Yeah, how did you—"

"Say no more, here, use my phone. The signal here is some weird carrier even I don't know the name of. Totally lame."

"Uh, yeah, totally." Candace said, attempting to look just as laid back as Wendy.

"I'm Candace, by the way."

"Wendy."

The two redheads smiled.

Just then Dipper and Mabel came in. "Grunkle Stan, what is it?"

Stan turned around. "Kids, meet— other kids!" Stan looked very proud of himself.

Phineas shook Dipper's hand. "Hi, I'm Phineas and this is my step-brother Ferb. These are our friends Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet." Phineas seemed very happy.

"Hi, I'm Dipper. This is my twin sister Mabel." Dipper seemed rather weary.

There was a moment of awkward silence again, broken by Baljeet, saying, "My fanboy sense is tingling!"


	5. Chapter 4

"So, Phineas… whatcha doin' here in Gravity Falls?" Dipper said, leaning on one of the exhibits.

Isabella crossed her arms.

"Well," Phineas answered, "we're here on a family trip, but you know, we like to make everyday the best day ever, and have the most fun possible, y'know?"

"Really…?" Dipper began to get excited, "So what are you planning on doing today?"

"We were planning on uncovering the strange mystical secrets of Gravity Falls!"

Mabel and Dipper stood wide eyed. Mabel whispered to her brother, "I smell Irony…"

"So, you guys wanna hang out with us today?"

"Yeah, we should totally—" Dipper got elbowed in the chest by Mabel, smiling all the while.

"Dipper, may I speak to you a second?"

The twins went off to the side.

"Dipper, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean? I'm making some friends and having some fun. You heard them, best day ever and all that."

"They also said they were going to investigate Gravity Falls, which is exactly what you promised not to do!"

"Mabel, I'm not focusing on that at all. I just want to have fun and…"

Mabel stopped listening. Over Dipper's shoulder she got a good look at Ferb, who met her gaze and winked. Her eyes lit up and somehow increased in size.

"OK!"

"What, Mabel, I wasn't even done with my rationalizing—"

"C'mon, let's go!"

Mabel took Dipper's arm and led him to the group.

"Nice sweater," commented Isabella.

Mabel smiled, glad her triangle pattern rainbow sweater was appreciated.

Elsewhere in the shack, Stan and Lawrence were looking at Goldy.

"So as I was saying, we at the antique shop would love to take this guy off your hands. A lovely antique relic, worth approximately…"

"Yeah yeah, I know," interrupted Stan, "but what is this?" he held up Perry.

"That my dear fellow is a platypus." remarked Lawrence.

"Amazing. I don't even have to glue anything on him. He's a natural tourist trap. Trade ya."

"What?' Lawrence was confused.

"I want this thing." explained Stan, putting Perry down, "Trade ya for Goldy, no money. Eh, what the heck, I'll take money too!"

"I'm sorry, but that's the family pet, Perry. He's not a bargaining chip."

"Aw, c'mon I— hey, where's Perry?" Stan looked frantically around.

What he didn't see was Perry crawl up to the vending machine, put on his hat, type in the access code when nobody was looking, and slip into a secret passage way behind the machine, all while his theme music played in the background. He got into the elevator and went down to the lab. He looked around for a moment.

He then went back up the elevator, back out the passage way, and closed the machine. Perry this time entered the right code, which opened the machine to a tube, leading him down to an OWCA lair. He paused to think about what just happened for a moment, then shook his head and scanned his paw on the computer console. The OWCA logo appeared, followed by the face of Major Monogram.

"Agent P, welcome to Gravity Falls. It seems getting Mr. Pines in touch with your host family's father was a complete success in getting you up here. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been tracked here, after stealing his old Leaf-Blower-inator from our vault, along with some of his various mind control inators. I told Carl to lock the doors, it's just like him to leave the doors unlocked after playing in there…"

"Oh no," carl spoke over him, "You said leave it open so you could go in and mess around, but here you are blaming me again—"

"CARL! Anyway, find out what Doof is up to and stop him!"

Perry saluted, strapped on his jet pack, and flew out the Shack's chimney.

In the secret Study, Ford looked up, listened for a moment, then shook his head and went back to his reading.


	6. Chapter 5

"So," Phineas asked Dipper, "anything particular you guys think it'd be fun if we investigate today?"

"Uhhhh…" Dipper stammered. He couldn't think clearly with Mabel staring at him through her "skepticals". suddenly, he had an idea. He ran inside and re-emerged with a board game.

"Here," he proclaimed proudly, "we can investigate this and have fun at the same time." He crossed his arms and looked over at Mabel coyly.

"Cool!" said Phineas and the gang. They looked at the box. The lid read "What Could Go Wrong? (The last players who opened this box never made it out alive)".

"What is so special about it?" asked Baljeet.

Dipper flipped through his journal. "Apparently, this game is like a portal to another dimension, and the only way to uncover its secrets is to play through the game."

Phineas looked in the journal as Baljeet set up the board. "According to this, it was originally called 'Manjuji, the Jungle Game of Never-Ending Fun", but it was changed after word of its dark secrets spread. The only person who ever played it was the guy who created it, and he was never seen again. Since then, no one has ever dared play the game."

Everyone OOOOOHed collectively. For a moment nobody dared move. The Buford grabbed the dice from Baljeet.

"Sounds fun!" He rolled the dice. Everyone gasped.

Back in the Shack, Candace handed Wendy back her phone.

"No luck?" asked Wendy.

"Worse, I got through and he didn't have any time for me. He's busy enjoying his vacation, and I'm here stuck on mine, having no fun at all."

Wendy looked sympathetically at Candace. "Dude, you gotta learn to have fun and just enjoy yourself, regardless of other people. Why do you think I'm so laid back? I don't care what anyone thinks of me. Anyone. I'm just looking out for me. Maybe you should do the same."

Candace considered this. "Not even for my boyfriend?"

Wendy shook her head.

"Well what about you? There's no one you care about impressing? No one?"

Wendy looked a little put off by the question. She shrugged, looking a bit more sad than laid back.

"No, I guess not. No one." and with that, Wendy clocked out, and struck out for home, hands in her pockets and head bowing down.

"Wait— Wendy!" Candace called after her.

"Bye Candace. Nice meeting you."


	7. Chapter 6

Perry zoomed over the lake to Scuttlebutt Island, into a hideout carved out of one of the mountain sides. As he landed he could here the place's unique jingle: _Doofenshmirtz Island Fortress!_

He touched down on land only to be ensnared by some knotted wiring and busted up old computer parts.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus," Doof greeted him, per usual routine, "how surprising that you would find me here. And by surprising of course I mean… actually I got nothing. What can you do with that? Prising? Not surprising? That's not even original! You see, this is what happens, you have a nemesis for a summer that amounts to like eight years of television, and all of a sudden you run out of your good lines. Bummer."

Perry rolled his eyes.

"By the way do you like my trap? bought it off some old coot in a junk yard with a bandaid on his beard. What is that even for? I mean does he know it's there or, like, what, is his beard cut? Is that a thing?Plus he kept using non-words, like 'hornswaggle', and I mean that's ridiculous, even for me!"

Perry offered no reply.

"Anyhoo, I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing here in Gravity Falls. You probably don't remember, not sure if I've even mentioned this before, but you know I used to work as a lawn gnome."

Perry glanced eyes half closed, a familiar look of disinterest and "are you for real?" on his face.

"Right, I take it you knew that. Anyway, I found stories of a place with real live gnomes, and I just had to check it out for myself. After doing some online research, you know, like you do, I found a blog by this little girl whose name is like a syrup or something, I don't know, but she has a "Guide to Life" page and I've watched all her videos. LOVED IT! Anyway, after taking her dating quiz which scores 1-5 (I got a negative 8, by the way, go figure), she told me that to catch a gnome all I need is a leaf blower. So behold, THE ATOMIC LEAF BLOWER-INATOR!" A dramatic cord played.

"You remember this one, right, with my neighbor Phil, and, yeah you remember. With this baby, Iv'e rounded up every gnome in the forest. But how to make them my minions you ask? No, you don't care? Ok, well, let's pretend you do. Now, behold again, my MIND CONTROL-INATOR!"

He held up his new hodgepodge mind control device, and another dramatic cord played. Perry made a mental note to find out where Doof got his musical accompaniment from. Then Dr D unveiled behind him a wall of cages, each one filled to the brim with brainwashed raging gnomes, yelling things like "Hail Doofinia!" or "Donde esta la biblioteca!" or even just "Shmebulock…".

"I have an army of them!" yelled Doofenshmirtz triumphantly.

Perry gasped.

"With my army of gnome minions, I will take over the Tri-State Area, and rule as gnome king! Then, I will finally succeed in my life goal, conquer my past, and have loads of fun with irony. Plus I can put this dunce cap Dr. Gevaarlik gave me back in class, evil 101 to good use! Now, to unleash my army!"

Doofenshmirtz pressed release on his remote, but instead of the cages of gnomes opening up, Perry was released from his trap. Doof sighed.

"I suppose I should've seen _that_ coming…"

Perry leapt up and punched Doof in the face, prompting him to drop his mind control inator and activate its self destruct. The effects of the inator wore off on the gnomes, and Perry stepped on the release button to their cages. Steve stood up.

"GET THE PHARMACIST!" he commanded, and the army of gnomes jumped on Doofenshmirtz.

Perry watched for a few seconds, then very nonchalantly walked away, opened up his glider, and took off. As he flew away, he could hear his nemesis yelling after him, "What, that's it? Just thwarting and running again, like you always do. This is why our relationship is in the state it's in you know, it— it's not me, it's you. Ow! watch the face, pointy! You know, maybe I should've transported them to the Tri-State—OW!— Area first, then— OW— oh well, here I go, not learning from my mistakes. CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"

After Perry was out of sight and hearing range, Doof muttered, "Eh, the fan fiction doesn't seem to be going anywhere soon, so I'm sure I'll get up to more shenanigans…"

 _Hey guys, it's been a lot of fun writing this story, this chapter in particular. I don't want to give too much away, but to quote Bill, I have big plans. I want to hear your feedback though. Let me know how I'm doing, if you like it or not, and if you have any suggestions. Thanks!_


	8. Chapter 7

"Wow," said Baljeet, "That was a very impressive and fantastical series of events that transpired between when we started playing the game and now."

"Yep," agreed Isabella, "I would've hated to have missed any of that."

"Good thing we were all here," said Phineas. "so there's absolutely no need to catch anyone up at all. Hey Dipper, does that journal explain how the game maker opened a portal to another dimension?"

Dipper shone his black light on the pages of his journal. "No, but apparently the trans-dimensional energy is greater towards the center of the board. We better keep playing, so our pieces will get closer in…"

Just then, Soos came out.

"… _I live up in a mansion_ … oh, hey dudes. You playin' the game that sends you into space on weird trip time warped adventure on a path to self discovery and family togetherness?"

Phineas and Dipper answered in unison, "No…"

Buford spoke up. "That sounds dumb. We're playing a cursed jungle game, and the only self discovery, is the discovery that my self is better at this game than their selves."

"Woah dude, that's like, profound or something."

"I may be a a thick slap of pituitary meat on the outside, but on the inside, I hold the key to enlightenment." said Buford.

"Dude, that's rad. I associate. Mind if I join you guys?"

The kids agreed. Soos rolled the dice.

"Sixteen!" Soon cheered.

Dipper looked over. "How is that even possible? There are only two six sided dice, and they don't even belong to this game, so they aren't enchanted…"

"Dude, respect the power of the Soos." said Soos.

"The power of the Soos," echoed Buford, "This guy is Blanchin'!"

Soos yelled "Up top!" and the two high fived.

Baljeet frowned. He did not appreciate Buford getting along so well with this new guy.

Soos drew a card. Words slowly appeared on it, reading:

 _Watch your step,_

 _be very wary…_

 _Slithering poison_

 _can be quite scary._

Mabel started giggling. "Hehe, stop it Ferb, that tickles."

"Uh, Mabel, I'm standing next to you…" said Baljeet. Feb was over with Dipper and Phineas.

Mabel freaked, and out of her hair fell a snake. Tons and tons of snakes started slithering from all directions towards the crew.

"This is not Dope!" cried Soos.

"I can't cope!" cried Buford.

"Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?" asked Isabella.

Dipper yelled, "Follow me guys!"

The crew soon found themselves panting on the roof of the Mystery Shack as the snakes slithered away into the woods, and up the trees.

Meanwhile, in the woods, Toby Determined stood with Shandra Jimenez, being scolded by her.

"I can't believe you called me down here for a story on abnormal reptile activity, and there were no reptiles around here to begin with. What, did you think a bunch of snakes were just going to come fall out of the sky?"

Nothing happened. There was a moment of silence.

"Actually, yes…" whined Toby.

Shandra crossed her arms. "Well, it looks like you're on the wrong show."

Back at the Shack, the kids finally caught their breath.

"Wow," said Mabel, "what a game, eh Ferb?"

Ferb opened his mouth as if to respond, but Mabel kept talking.

"You know, this reminds me of this crazy time I decided to make a sweater out of nachos because who doesn't love nachos…" and she just keep talking and talking. Ferb closed his mouth, and le his eyes droop.

Buford meanwhile was in a rage. "I'm tired of these mongoose flipping snakes from this mongoose flipping game! This is no fun way to solve a mystery, i'm out of here!" Buford Van Stomm stomped, and then all of a sudden, a flash of light sucked him into the game board. Everyone screamed, even Mabel who had previously been saying, "…and then it turned out the peanut butter WAS the pool water I had been drinking all along!"

Phineas drew a card that read,

 _To regain_

 _Your taken friend_

 _play the game_

 _right to the end._

"But I was just getting to know that dude!" cried Soos.

"Well, he is my Bully!" cried Baljeet. "So _I_ will be the one to rescue him!"

"Guys relax," said dipper, "we just gotta play through the game. What could go wrong?"

"You heard the man!" said Phineas. "Let's Play!"


	9. Chapter 8

Candace walked through the woods, talking to herself.

"Ok, just gotta go talk to Wendy. Nothing I said was that bad, she's just a little lonely is all, it's all good. All good brah, all good. Now, which house over here is hers?"

Just then she looked up to see Wendy swinging around on a tree, chopping branches left and right with an axe before doing a back flip off the tree and landing in front of a neatly formed pile of lumber.

Candace was in awe. Wendy turned around and saw Candace.

"Oh hey, did you come to use my phone again?" Wendy asked in a flat tone of voice.

"What, no, I came to talk to you..."

"Cool. So wussup?"

"Well… I came to see if you were ok."

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Wendy shrugged.

"Well, you seemed upset before when I asked about you having a boyfriend…"

"Oh no, dude, don't worry. No harm done. I learned to have fun on my own a long time ago, I don't need no man, know what I'm saying?"

"Uh… maybe?"

Just then Wendy's little brothers came out and started hacking at the pile of lumber. Wendy groaned and facepalmed. "Ugh, they always do this! And then my Dad yells at me that we have no lumber! They are so annoying!"

"So bust them." Candace shrugged.

"What?"

"Rat them out to your dad. They should get in trouble."

"Believe me, I would, but my Dad never listens. It's… It's why I like to spend my time away from home. He doesn't really care…"

Now Candace realized why Wendy had been upset. It was not because she didn't have a boyfriend to impress, but that she had communication issues with her dad. Then Candace had an idea.

"My mom often doesn't want to listen to me, but every day I still get her to at least humor me in my attempts to bust my brothers. Tell you what, I'll train you how to get your dad's attention, and you'll help me have fun and not miss Jeremy, ok?"

Wendy smiled. "Alright."

"Alright then…dude."

Meanwhile, back at the Mystery Shack, Perry started to re-enter his vending machine lair, but decided to investigate the other hide lair behind it. He walked down the stares and down the elevator shaft, and then was greeted by the sound of footsteps behind him. He turned around and chirped.

Standing before him was Grunkle Ford, wearing his black coat and hood he brought back with him from the portal. He grabbed a laser gun from his back and pointed it at Perry.

"I have no idea how you found me, but now I will finally be rid of my nemesis. Goodbye, Perry the Platypus."

He fired the laser.


	10. Chapter 9

Perry ducked out of the way of the laser just in time and grappled up to atop one of the machines in the lab. Ford fired again and again with his laser, as Perry ran and was just nearly missed every time. Perry used his tail to platypult himself at Ford, punching the goggles and mask off his face. Ford stumbled back, then aimed his gun at Perry at point blank range. With lightning quick reflexes, Perry swung around and kicked the gun out of Ford's hands. Ford was impressed. Truly, this was a semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action. The gun skidded across the floor, and both combatants sprung at it. They ended up both holding on to the gun, each one struggling for control. The laser started firing willy nilly, causing part of the ceiling to cave in.

As the dust settled, Perry managed to lift himself up. Ford lay under a steel beam, incapacitated. Ford struggled. Perry scratched his chin. How did this stranger know who he was? He did not recognize this man, but something about him seemed familiar. Maybe… his clothing? The black, post apocalyptic style… where had Perry seen that before? Just then, Ford grumbled.

"You back off, cyborg freak. Your one-eyed boss has no power here!"

Of course! Perry knew where this man had come from. He knew what he had to do.

Elsewhere, Doofenshmirtz strolled down the street, feeling defeated. Probably because he had been just hours before.

"Well," he sighed, "at least today can't get any worse."

 _Oh, I wouldn't say that, my slouching friend!_ Doof heard, seemingly from nowhere.

"Who was that? Am I in some sort of narrated episode?"

 _No no, silly goose, It's me!_

"You know, saying 'me' doesn't help if I don't know who you are…"

 _Hello? Earth to Doofus, over here!_

A sliver of light appeared, then turned, revealing a floating, glowing yellow triangle with limbs, an eye, and a top hat. The apparition tipped his hat. He then began talking very, very fast.

 _Hello, fellow bratwurst enthusiast, I'm Bill, which is short for BBIIIILLLLL, but you can call me… Bill. What are you doing way out here how's the weather never mind that I know all about you, now how would you like to rule the Tri-State Area?_

"What?"

 _Say what again, I dare you, EYE double dare you! Haha, it's a kid's show you won't get that, but anyway I can give you the power over the Tri-State Area, that's right 3 whole states— ORDER NOW._

"You can do that?"

 _Yeah sure buddy check this out._

He then transformed Dr D into a pink Pony with a rainbow tail, then promptly turned him back.

 _That was for the fans, but anyway, yeah, I can do that._

Doof looked very disconcerted. "Wow," he managed, "I'm used to being the weird one in the conversation…"

 _Haha, you come up with that all by yourself? That's funny. Back to the matter at hand, Dearie, all magic comes with a price, so here's my offer. If you want me to take over a full half of a Six State Area, you're gonna have to do something for me._

Doof looked suspicious. "Ok, mister more powerful than thou, what do you want from lil ol me?"

 _From him? Nothing, but I want something from you. Haha! That was a joke which you don't get because continuity! What I want from you is an Inator._

"Now you're talking," said Doofenshmirtz, getting excited, "What kind?"

 _Listen carefully_ …


	11. Chapter 10

_Author's note: For this chapter I'd like to do something a little different. This is the part in a Phineas and Ferb episode where we'd get our catchy song, so I've written out the lyrics below, as well as a summary of what happens in the scene. The tune I'm going for is somewhere between the upbeat excitement of a song like "Rollercoaster" and the ominous tone of "Going Deep into Your Mind". Feel free to come up with your own tune for it! I'll describe the scenes first._

Phineas, Dipper, Ferb, Mabel, Soos, Baljeet, and Isabella all took turns rolling the dice. with each new turn, a new challenge arose: stampedes of wild animals, monstrous jungle plants, swamps appearing out of nowhere, storms doing the same, and even the horror of Dipper having to stomach Mabel's obvious flirting with Ferb. The kids ran all throughout the woods and even into the town, knocking into Tyler Cutebiker on the street; as the animals chased the kids, tyler called after "Get it! Get it!" They even ran past a game of Thuzara being played by Shmipper, Shmabel, Thaddeus and Thor.

The Song:

Oooh

Yeah

Here we go

When you don't want to be bored

Throw some cubes down on a board

Take a chance and roll the dice

Ooh yeah… you gotta play nice

(you gotta play nice)

When you're running down the street

not far behind is the stampede

the next one's turn, what could go wrong?

oops you landed in a swamp

[BRIDGE]

Yeah, yeah,

it's the thrill of the game

yeah yeah

watch out, don't be maimed

when you're running from a lion and you want to be a cheetah

then you better keep on running because one of them might eat ya

[CHORUS]

Roll the dice

(what could go wrong?)

You gotta play nice

(what could go wrong?)

Doubles means you roll twice

(What could go wrong?)

Ooh, you gotta play nice.


	12. Chapter 11

Perry unplugged his hat camera from the computer console. He had just finished playing his footage montage from his adventures in the second dimension (with the background song of "Takin' Care of Things") on the console screen. Ford cocked his head to one side, wide eyed and eyebrows raised.

"So… you're not from the other dimension, but you were there once when you fought your alternate self. Huh, I figured there only existed secret agent platypuses— platypi? Platypeople? Regardless, I always thought that was only "a thing" (as the kids say) the in that world. Strange. Next you'll be telling me that dumb goat or the fat pig can fight too."

Perry smiled, then helped Ford out of the wreckage. Ford brushed himself off.

"Sorry about that. Thought you were Perry the Platyborg. Ran into him on a trip through dimensions sometime in the last thirty years when I was trying to get home. But I guess you're just Perry the Platypus. You know, you should've seen the Gravity Falls of _that_ dimension. If you think this place is weird... Someone could write a whole 'nother story about that place! Who knows, maybe someone will, if enough people request it online. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The name's Ford, Ford Pines."

Perry shook his hand and showed Ford his OWCA ID. "Agent P, huh? You know you're organization doesn't have a very cool acronym."

Perry rolled his eyes.

"But seriously, those were some great moves back there. I'd hate to be on the other end of that again."

Perry grinned and pointed back at Ford, as if to say he wasn't so bad himself.

"Thanks. Whaddya say we sit back and compare notes, huh? something tells me we have quite a lot to teach one another about fighting evil."

Perry nodded. He and Ford stood for a moment in awkward silence.

"You know it's funny… I always thought platypuses didn't do much."


	13. Chapter 12

The kids outran a monsoon full of spiders, then collapsed on the sidewalk downtown, panting. Isabella rested her head on Phineas's shoulder.

"Wow," she heaved, "what a ride. Wanna go again?"

"Yeah… uh… anything you want." was the reply she got, in a tone much different than she remembered. Her eyes opened wide as she realized she was on Dipper's shoulder.

She screamed, shook her head like a wet dog, and stamped off. Dipper sat in utter shock, then proceeded to cross his arms and let out a humph. Isabella went over to Phineas and started chatting him up. Dipper stood and brushed himself off.

"Well," he thought to himself, "score still zero for Dipper. What is it about me that is just so repelling to girls? I mean, he isn't even noticing her right now, and she's going gaga over him! I mean, why can't that ever once, just once happen to me? You know what I think? People shouldn't act that way, it's gross. People who hover around their crush like that are like… are like…"

"… Like Dipper…" he heard Mabel say. He turned to look at her, as she stood off to the side talking more at Ferb than with him. Ferb stood wide eyed, his occasional blinking the only sign that he was even still alive. Dipper made his way over to them. Mabel was making wavy motions with her hands between her and Ferb.

"I mean we are like _sooooo_ connected, Ferb and Mabel, we're like," Mabel gasped, "Ferbel! WE CAN HAVE A FERBEL GERBEL! _I'M GONNA DIE IT'S SO CUUUUUTE!"_ She shook her clenched fists in anticipation.

 _"_ Wow, dudes, that's legit," interjected Soos.

"Mabel, can we talk? For, like a second? Thanks Ferb." Dipper pulled Mabel aside by the arm and mouthed the word "run" at Ferb.

"Wussup, bro?" asked Mabel.

"Oh, not much, just you breaking the deal and losing the bet is all."

"What? _I'm_ losing? Are you serious right now!? You're investigating mysteries with your new pals, i'm just over here having a grand ol' time—"

"Oh yeah, you and Ferb both. Tell me, has he even said a single word to you, a single word?"

"Pfff, Ferb doesn't say much. He's funny that way."

Dipper face-palmed. "Or maybe, he can't get a word in edge-wise because you're jabbering!"

"Le gasp! I do not jabber!"

"One, you do too, and two, you don't have to say the words "le gasp" in real life."

"You are such a hypocrite! I bet you're not having fun at all! That's why you're so disirregrumpable today!"

"I'll have you know I'm having loads of fun! Right Phineas?"

"Uh... Let's play the game... Who's turn is it?" said Phineas.

"Baljeet?"

"Not getting involved." said Baljeet.

"Can I get involved?" asked Soos.

"What about... wait, hold up guys, I'm confused, who is this?" Dipper pointed to Irving, who had been sitting there for a period of time of unknown length.

"Oh, I'm Irving, I express mailed myself up here. Wanna read my Over The Garden Wall fanfiction?"

"Oooookaay, I'm going to ignore you..." said Dipper.

Ferb opened his mouth to speak but didn't get the chance.

"Regardless," Dipper continued, "the point is that you're being a…"

"What?" challenged Mabel, "go on, say it!"

"A mary sue romance device!" yelled Dipper.

Everyone gasped. Mabel took a step forward.

"Well you're just sore because girls don't like being followed by a wounded puppy of a boy!"

Dipper was taken aback. "You know what Mabel, we can settle this argument once and for all. If you leave now, it'll prove you're not totally obsessing over boys, and then I can have some real fun without you."

"Maybe I will."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

Mabel stormed off. Dipper crossed his arms and closed his eyes, but let himself peek as Mabel made her way solely back to the shack. He couldn't help but feel bad for her.

Isabella called after Mabel, then ran after her. Dipper looked at Phineas for support, but Phineas just looked at the ground.

Wanted to break the silence, Baljeet handed Soos the dice. "Here, it is your turn."

Soos grabbed the dice from Baljeet. the two had developed a bit of a rivalry, each one wanting to be the one to rescue Buford.

"I'm coming for ya, dude!" said Soos determinately, but before he let the dice roll, he had a realization. He sighed.

"It just somehow isn't as fun without Mabel…" he let the dice roll, then there was another flash of light. Soos was gone. Everyone screamed.


	14. Chapter 13

Mabel slammed the door to her room. She started angrily pacing the floor, fists curled and arms pointing straight down. There was a knock at the door.

"Go away!" was Mabel's response.

From the other side she heard "It's Isabella, please open up."

Mabel somewhat reluctantly let Isabella in, then slammed the door behind her.

"What do you want?" she asked, arms crossed.

"You're upset, I'm here to talk to you about it," shrugged Isabella.

"What is there to talk about? My brother is right. I've spent all of the summer obsessing over every guy I meet, and all roads lead to nowhere. I'm pathetic." Mabel collapsed on her bed.

"I know what you mean," said Isabella, sitting on the bed next to her, "I've spent my whole summer chasing after a boy too, and it just goes nowhere. I've done all I can, but I… oh well. I might as well tell you, so you know, that I'm talking about Phineas."

Mabel stared at Isabella with deadpan face and uttered in monotone, "Woah, what a shock."

Then she straightened up and asked, "How do you deal?"

Isabella did something Mabel had always wanted to see happen in real life: she began a spontaneous musical number, with no discernible music source.

 _AN: This musical number starts out a bit more somber, like "What Might Have Been", but when the chorus arrives it's more an up-beat party tune (I was thinking along the lines of "You Can't Stop the Beat" from Hairspray). When Isabella sings, a montage plays of her failing to tell Phineas how she feels, and when Mabel sings it's a montage of her failed relationships._

"I've tried and tried to tell him,

but he won't turn my way

if he would only listen

the things that I could say

I guess we'll be the best of friends

as I'm haunted by my dreams

I guess I'll have to live with us

being much less than what we seem…"

Mabel was wide eyed. She stood up and whispered, "Wow, you guys have show tunes? That's— superawesometacularifimazing! Can I try?"

"Be my guest," said Isabella. Mabel began singing.

"I only want to hold someone

to let them know I care

But I turn around around in my time of need

and no one's ever there.

I try and try to make it work

and sacrifice it all

but the more I try to pick myself up

the more I seem to fall."

Isabella: "But I'll always be here for you…"

Mabel: "…And I'll be by your side."

Isabella: "So let's rock out together,"

Mabel: "Get the joy we've been denied…!"

[CHORUS]

"'Cause I don't need no man

to be happy or to feel like me

I don't need no man

to have fun or to value me

I can fend for myself, you'd better bet I can

'cause I don't need no man!"

Elsewhere, Candace sat in Wendy's room. Wendy had been talking about how Candace should forget about what Jeremy was doing and just have fun, when suddenly she heard music without any discernible music source. She stood wide eyed.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Oh, that's your queue," replied Candace in a rather matter of fact tone.

"Queue for what?"

"You know…" said Candace, but she only got a blank stare in return.

"Just start singing."

 _AN: This part is the same tune as before, but a bit more upbeat._

Wendy:

"You gotta let go of your feelings

and feel just for yourself

get up and seize the day

put your worries on a shelf.

No one here will judge you

if you don't let them judge

you can go swimming in a fountain

or eat a mountain of fudge!"

Candace:

"I can be myself today

from boyfriend troubles, I'll be free

with a girlfriend by my side

I can finally be me!"

Candace and Wendy: [CHORUS]

"'Cause I don't need no man

to feel secure or to feel safe

I don't need no man

to put this smile on my face

I can have fun all by myself, yeah you bet I can

'cause I don't need no man!

[BRIDGE]

Mabel: "I have to take control of my own life!"

Candace: "I can act independently!"

Isabella: "I can put aside my fears, my strife!"

Wendy: "I can do what's best for me!"

All:

"Yes I'll set my spirit free!"

[CHORUS]

I don't need no man

to tell me what to do

I don't need no man

to make it through

I'll believe in myself, I'm my biggest fan

yeah I don't need no man!

Yeah I don't need no man

and I'll make a stand

I won't stay my hand, I'll be who I am

and I'll follow the plan, and I won't say can't

'cause I

Dont

Need

No

MAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

 _AN: That's the end of the song. I'd like to see someone record this and post it on youtube. Most of the imagery in this song is just the girls singing either in their rooms or against colorful backgrounds, but when Candace says "independently" she's wearing a powdered wig in Liberty Hall and holding a quill to some parchment, but looking really serious, just for laughs._

Mabel stood in her room with Isabella, and put her arms down from the long note she'd just held. She grabbed Isabella and shouted, "WOOOHOOO! I can cross being in an inexplicable musical number about myself off my bucket list! And speaking of which, that gives me an idea…"


	15. Chapter 14

Doof walked into Greasy's Diner. He stumbled about awkwardly until he was approached by Lazy Susan.

"Hey guy, what can I do you for?" she asked.

"Oh hey— whoa, what is with your ey— never mind, uh… I'm looking for a Grun… Krun… crackle… uh… Uncle Grandpa… I don't know, something called like a 'Grunkle' or something." Doof rambled.

Susan gestured to Stan, sitting in a corner booth, muttering to himself.

"…I mean, he's a platypus, he doesn't even do much for crying out loud…"

"Uh… Hello?" Doof said, approaching Stan, "Is… this seat taken?"

"My tush look that big?" Stan snapped.

"Dude, I wasn't really looking or anything…"

Stan just stared at Doofenshmirtz. Doof sat down.

"Great," Stan muttered, "I love company…"

"So uh, do you by any chance run the Mystery Shack?" Doof said, waving his hands in an attempt to seem casual.

Stan lit up like a light.

"Why, you wanna spend some— I mean, stop by for a visit?"

"Oh yeah, I mean, tourist traps are my Jam, or whatever the kids say. Whaddya say we mosey on over down there?"

"Haha! First let me finish this almond brittle."

"Almond brittle? I love it the most!" Doof said, getting excited.

"Take some."

The two shared the brittle in silence for a little bit, before Stan spoke (with his mouth still full, of course).

"Tell me, what's a pharmacist like you doin' out here?"

"Well, I'm actually not a pharmacist, I'm an evil scientist. Pe—"

"Evil?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Evil? Now that's self deprecation I can get behind! I wish I could be that honest with myself. I charge folks up the rear for tours of a smelly old Shack full of garbage, then don't let them l;eave 'till they buy something."

"Wow, now that is evil. I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz."

"No kidding. The name's pines, Stanf— Stan Pines. WAITRESS!" Stan bellowed.

Susan came over, bearing a pitcher of coffee.

"A pint of the good stuff for me and my new pall Doofus over here! Stat!" Stan barked. He then turned to his new companion as Susan wandered off and said, "I don't even know what stat means, I just like saying it."

"I say things like that too! Like gesticulate or prestidigitation… or hygiene."

Stan laughed, then put his hand on Doof's shoulder. "You're alright, you know that. What say me and you drink a few, complain about our ex wives, and then hit the town, eh?"

"That sounds stat!"

"I'm… I'm fairly certain you're using that wrong."

"Yeah… so am I…" sighed Doof.

After a few drinks, the two stumbled around town…

 _AN: During this musical number, Doof and Stan go around town, pulling childish pranks on the town, such as ding-dong-ditching McGucket, putting a "talk to me" sign on Robbie's back, and dangling a coffee and donut coupon from a fishing rod just out of reach of Blubs and Durland. When Doof and Stan are speaking, they are on a stage, dancing in tuxedos. The music is akin to "Got These Chains On Me" in pace and voice, albeit more upbeat in tone._

Disembodied Musical Narration Voice (DMNV):

Just a couple of grumpy old guys

hitting the town

don't need no disguise

they're burning it down

They laugh all creepy

and they break into a cough

they're tearing it up

and they're shaking it off

These Grumps're 'bout to stump anyone who dumped them

so chump you better jump away before they get a Trump'n

Oh, just a couple of grumpy old guys

[shooby doop shooby doop]

they're attracting flies

[shooby doop shooby doop]

yeah, some grumpy old guys

Doof: Hey, we're not grumpy!

Stan: who are you talking to?

DMNV: it just flows nicely, you know, as a song…

Doof: But it's inaccurate! I'm evil, he's crotchety,

Stan: Hey!

Doof: Oh don't blame me, it's his fault!

DMNV: Fine!

Just a couple of creepy old—

Doof: No, no that isn't better at all

DMNV: Just a couple of pot-bellied old

Doof: Nope!

DMNV: —smelly old—

Stan: Hey!

DMNV: —hairy old guys.

Doof: That's it, you wanna go?

Stan: Hey, Shmutz, would you quit arguing with the soundtrack already? We gotta move on!

Doof: Hey, you broke fourth wall, I am so proud of you!

Stan: Yeah it… it feels pretty weird. Now I'm questioning my own exis—

DMNV: cutting him off 'cuse he's getting existential

these middle aged neanderthals about to go all mental

they're a couple of dudes with vans and mid life crises

don't step on their lawn, or else they'll get all feisty

gold necklaces and reckless messing with their exes

check it off the checklist they are just the bestest

Yeah, some pot bellied smelly old creepy old hairy old

grumpy dumpy Donald Trumpy old guys.

Hey!

 _AN: end of song_

Doof leaned on Stan out on a street corner. "Wow, we really can't hold our drinks, can we?" he slurred.

"Yeah," Stan bellowed, "and that was just apple juice!"


	16. Chapter 15

"Alright," said Candace, "let's try it again."

Wendy took a deep breath. She had painted black lines under her eyes, had put on a head band, tied her button down shirt around her waist, and stated an axe in it.

"Go!" shouted Candace.

Wendy jumped over piles of lumber, swung from ropes, hopped from tree to tree, ran with her feet stepping in tires and did a tuck-and-roll through the mud, before stopping directly in front of Candace.

"DAD DAD DAD!" Wendy bellowed. "There, is that good?" she panted.

Candace looked unimpressed. "Let's do it a few more times…"

"UGH. Candace, I don't think I want to do this. It just doesn't feel right…"

The two girls sat down in silence. Candace opened her mouth to say something to Wendy, when all of a sudden Wendy's phone rang.

"Hello? Mabel? Wha— yes, yes I am… that sounds like fun…"

Candace widened her eyes.

Meanwhile, Doof was tinkering with some spare junk parts in the Mystery Shack.

He mumbled something along the lines of, "…you put that there, and the whatchamacallit with the thingamahoosle, and click one key to the left…"

Stan just crossed his arms and looked at his new friend, contemplating what on earth he was up to, and why it was more important than having fun with him. As he sat in silence, his thoughts drifted to the Flynn-Fletcher couple, and wondering what they were up to.

It just so happened that at that moment, they were in an elevator which was playing their own music, and they were both covered in transition fluid. Lawrence was covered in feathers, wearing a ninja costume, and holding Goldy; Linda was dressed like a german bar maid, holding an octopus and a jar of spleens. They stood in silence, until Lawrence said, "I do hope the kids are enjoying themselves."

It just so happened that at that moment, Ferb sighed, before disappearing into the game. Phineas and Dipper screamed. Just moments ago they had lost Baljeet and Irving as well (Baljeet to the game, Irving to the bathroom). Now, it was Dipper's turn. Dipper shook the dice in his hand, then collapsed, near tears.

Phineas went around the board to him. "What's wrong?"

"Mabel said I would never let myself have any fun, and here I though I could prove her wrong. I was always trying to investigate this place and its magic, and she was there all the while to brighten my day. And I… I resented her for it. Now, I'm here alone, and my stupid ego got us and all our friends into this mess."

"But Dipper," protested Phineas, "it's a game… you can still…"

"Have fun?" Dipper snapped, "I'm not like you Phineas, I can't always stay positive all the time. The truth is… I'm having no fun at all."

With that, the dice dropped from Dipper's hand landing him a seven. Dipper disappeared. It was now Phineas's turn.


	17. Chapter 16

Stan walked over to Doof as he was finishing up his work.

"So, what's this bupkis?" he asked.

"This my friend… is my OTHER OTHER OTHER OTHER-DIMENSIONATOR!"

Stan raised an eyebrow.

"I know it's a mouthful, but the Other-Dimensionator is destroyed, and the Other Other Dimensionator is back in the other dimension."

"What happened to the Other Other Other Dimensionator?"

"It's in the Other Other Dimension."

"Oh."

"Yeah… I lead an interesting life. But once I fire this baby up, I'll finally rule the Tri-Sstate Area! Then I'll show them, Charlene and Roger and Pe—"

"Roger?" Stan asked.

"Roger that." said Doof.

"No, I mean who's that?"

"Oh, that's my over achieving brother, it's a long story…"

Stan sighed. "One I know all too well. My brother and I ruined each other's lives, and now that I've gone through such lengths to get him back all he does is worry about some extra-dimensional demon."

"Yeah, well, let's fire this baby up so that yellow triangle guy can do his thing."

"Wait what?" Stan spun around, but it was too late.

Ford and Perry were downstairs. Ford was doing most of the talking, Perry was nodding.

"…that's when I realized the shark was in the peanut butter the whole time. And that's why you never trust a Brazilian hand model."

Just then, the alarm went off on the console.

"Extra-dimensional breach? But that's impossible, I've sealed the rift in here, and there's a protection spell around the house! Unless… we need to get upstairs!"

As the two emerged from the vending machine, they joined Stan and Doof, staring at the green portal opening before their very eyes.

"You fool!" shouted Ford, "do you have any idea what you've done!?"

Doof thought for a moment, then replied, "No."

Just then, the "yellow triangle guy" began to take form in the portal.

Stan slapped Doofenshmirtz. "Don't you know who that is!?"

"A yellow triangle?"

Bill put on his hat.

"Bill the yellow triangle!"

Perry rolled his eyes.

Then Doof walked up to his creation. "Don't worry guys he's cool, he's with me."

 _Well, you're half right!_ said Bill, grabbing Doof.

 _Unfortunately this portal can only make a small breach in J Jonah Jameson's security system over here, so there needs to be a switch. You know, a you for an I, nothing personal hahaha… OR IS IT nah, but seriously, you're leaving I'm staying._

With that, Doof began to get sucked into the portal, and Bill began to gain power. Perry jumped up to attack Bill, but was frozen in midair, along with Ford and Stan.

"Doofus!" yelled Stan.

"Uncle Grandpa Stan!" yelled Doofenshmirtz.

"Perry!" yelled Ford.

Perry chirped at Ford.

"Perry the Platypus!" called Doof.

Perry chirped angrily at Doof.

"You idiot!" yelled Ford at Doof.

 _BILL!_ yelled Bill.


	18. Chapter 17

Dipper opened his eyes. Gathered around him were Baljeet, Buford, Soos, and Ferb. He got up and looked around. They were in what looked like a multi-colored cloud, random clusters of rock and bubbles floating around everywhere. Dipper and his friends seemed to be on one of the winding road type things that must've led to some sort of convergence point. Far away, at what seemed like the convergence point of this dimension, was a crescent shaped castle, floating in a cloud of debris.

"What is this place?" he asked.

Everyone looked at him.

"We were rather hoping you could tell us…" admitted Baljeet.

Dipper looked down. He had no idea what to do. He had failed his friends and himself. He was no hero. If only Phineas were here…

And then Ferb walked over and placed a hand on Dippers shoulder. As Dipper looked up at him, Ferb nodded and smiled.

Dipper clenched his fists. No, Dipper thought, this is not how it ends. If he wasn't going to have any fun, he could at least put his skills to good use. He straightened his hat. He was not going to let them down.

"Alright gang, the convergence point seems to be in that castle-type thing. Follow me!"

They ran off, all putting their hope in Dipper, who was silently putting his hope in Phineas just as much as himself.

Phineas, on the other hand, was going through a bit of a crisis.

He rolled again and again, moving his piece around the board, but to no avail. He exhaled in exasperation. Just then, Candace ran up.

"Phineas! What are you up— wait, why are you all alone… and with a board game? Phineas? Hey, What's wrong?"

Phineas eagerly explained what had happened.

"…and now they're all inside the game, and the only way to save them is for me to win the game, but every time I get close I draw a card that sends me back! It's a never ending game!"

Candace eyed the game board. At the center was a small orb that glowed.

"Hold on Phineas, I have an idea!"

The high-strung teen ran into the Mystery Shack and re-emerged with a hammer. She heaved it above her head, shouted, "For Asgard!" and struck down on the orb. Just then a huge cloud of blue energy with yellow lightning buzzing about inside of it encompassed the game board and began to expand, making a hideous roaring sound all the while.

Phineas and his sister ducked for cover under the Shack's porch.

"Uh… Candace?"


	19. Chapter 18

"Wait just one minute, Mr. Illuminopoly Man!" yelled Doofenshmirtz, "You said I had to open a portal to another dimension for you. How is _this_ part of that deal? Is this one of those "read the terms and conditions" things, because you know nobody reads those!"

 _Well,_ chuckled Bill, getting ever closer to physical form, _This is a portal to another dimension— mine! And I'm coming through, baby!_

"You're insane!" shouted Ford, holding on to the wall for dear life.

"Doof, what's going on?" demanded Stan.

Perry chirped to second that demand.

"Well, you see, Mike Wazowski over here told me he'd help me take over the Tri-State Area if I opened up a portal in your Mystery Shack…"

"And you believed him!?" yelled Ford.

"Wait—" interjected Stan, "so you never wanted to be my friend, or even spend any money!? I don't know which one is worse!"

Perry chirped, shaking his head at Doof.

"You really are a doof!" bellowed Ford.

"No, it's not like that! He— well, in retrospect, I guess I wasn't really sure what he wanted… he did turn me into a pony though…"

"Impossible!" interjected Ford, "Bill has no power in this dimension!"

 _That's where your'e wrong, Six-fingers! Ever since you crossed back into this world, the rift has been leaking extra-dimensional energy into Gravity Falls. I'm getting more powerful every second! I've already one. And now that I have you right where I want you—_

"Wait, wait… you captured us, and now you're telling us your evil plan?" asked Doof, interrupting. Bill looked angry, then amused.

 _Yes, I suppose you could say that, why do you ask?_

"Well, it's just… I did that before it was cool! Whoa, I'm a hipster! Just wait 'till I tell Vanessa, and Norm… or just Vanessa! I'm hip now. I guess I'll have to dye my hair and buy a beanie or something, I'll work it out. Maybe I can write slam poetry about why I'm oppressed by a society that doesn't accept me—"

 _SILENCE!_ roared Bill, _I have had enough of your idiocy, discount Dexter! Time to show you how a REAL villain does it!_

"Hey!" Doof crossed his arms, then realized he needed to hold on to something to avoid being sucked into the portal, and scrambled to grab onto something. He then muttered something about being smart on the inside.

 _Now, mortals, brace yourselves— WEIRDMAGEDDON IS UPON YOU!_


	20. Chapter 19

Dipper led the gang into the entrance hall of the crescent castle.

"Alright," said Dipper, "spread out and look for something strange…"

He then added, noting the psychedelically colored interior and MC Escher-eske walls of staircases, "Well, more so than usual…"

The group looked in every nook and cranny of the impossible palace, coming across whalemingos, celebrity cameos, a zebra looking for someone named Kevin, tiny colorful anthropomorphic bugs, and even a giant floating headless baby.

"Do not worry Buford, I will be the one to find the route to our salvation!" promised Baljeet.

"Hey dude, I'll totally get us out of here. Like my Grandmother always says, when you're in a pickle, you're probably eating at restaurants with portions that'll give you diabetes." added Soos.

Buford continued his search, as Baljeet continued to scowl at Soos.

Finally, Dipper stumbled upon a door that seemed different. He could not quite describe it, but it emanated importance. Dipper opened the door and stepped inside. He gasped at what he saw. He was not ready for this.

Back in Gravity Falls, a massive energy cloud was circling Phineas and Candace, threatening to suck them into some terrifying brand new reality.

"Phineas!" yelled Candace over the electric whirlpool (which is totally an awesome band name), "I want you to know, though I constantly try to bust you, I couldn't ask for a better little brother, and I— I'm proud to be your sister!"

"Candace! I want you to know… I accidentally sent your Ducky Momo to Mars!" replied Phineas.

"What!?"

"I'm sorry, I thought I could get it back!"

"Then what's been in my room this whole time!?"

"I replaced it with one from the Googolplex Mall!"

"What!?" Candace screeched over the noise, as the two held on to the ground for dear life.

"Candace, maybe this isn't the best time to bring this up—"

Phineas was cut off by his phone ringing. He answered, then gave it over to Candace, saying it was for her.

"We are not done discussing this!" proclaimed Candace, before answering the phone.

"Hello?"

"Candace," her mom answered from the other end, I'm calling ahead to let you know we're coming back to the shack. See you in a few!"

"Oh no!" thought Candace out loud, "Mom will be here any minute! What will happen when she sees this!?"

And then it hit Candace. One way or another, her mother would not see this. Whether she'd see her children safe and alright or strangely gone was a different story entirely. She only new one thing for certain: she hoped it was the former.


	21. Chapter 20

The Flynn-Fletcher car was pulling up to the shack, but the parents inside could not yet see what was going on around the shack.

Inside the shack, everyone was also holding on for dear life, as Bill grew and grew, in size and power.

 _Oh yeah baby, it's finally happening! I WILL RULE THIS DIMENSION! ENTER THE ODDPOCALYPSE!_ ** _WHO CAN STOP ME NOW!?_**

Bill laughed a terrible, maniacal, roaring laugh, and then stopped abruptly, because someone else was laughing too. It was Doofenshmirtz.

 _What's so funny, meat bag?_ inquired Bill impatiently.

"What," chuckled Doof, "you really don't hear it? No? I'm really gonna have to explain this?"

 _What!?_ demanded Cipher.

"Anyone?' asked the evil scientist.

Everyone just stared blankly at Doof.

"Really?" he said again.

"We're not affiliated with him." said Ford.

"Perry the Platypus, surely you of all people, or platypuses, or platypi or— whatever, it doesn't matter, you know what I'm getting at, right?"

Perry stared at him blankly.

"What really? Wow, ok, I know something you don't. I am the smart one! Wow! I feel so vindicated, this is amazing! Everybody mark their calendars, this is the day that Heinz Doofenshmirtz was proven to be a genuine genius and—"

 ** _WHAT!?_** shouted Bill.

"Well, it's just, you said that you're invincible, and you've accomplished your goals, and no one can stop you now, blah blah blah…"

 _Yes…_

"So, Mr. Smarty Pants, that's when a villain always gets stopped! That's when Perry the Platypus escapes from his trap and foils my evil plan by pushing the self destruct button on my inator!"

 _You put self destruct buttons on your inators? Well it's your own fault you get defeated, you're so stupid. Hey wait a minute, you didn't put one on this inator, did you?_

"Well of course I did," replied Doofenshmirtz, "I believe I'm like contractually obligated at this point…"

 _YOU FOOL! Well, no matter! In three minutes, I will have gained physical form, and WEIRDMAGEDDON SHALL BEGIN! You all are trapped, and the only other things in this room are some tourist traps, a vending machine, a goat and a pig._

The goat and the pig put on little brown fedoras.

 ** _WHAT!?_**

"SECRET AGENTS GOAT AND PIG!?" everyone gasped, except Stan, who just mumbled, "I'm gonna... need to switch medications…"

OWCA Agents Gompers and Waddles swung into the gravity field too fast for Bill to react, pushing the self destruct button as their theme music played, "Doobie doobie doo ba doobie doobie doo ba— A GOAT AND A PIG!"

Perry nodded in approval.

The Other-Other-Other-Other-Dimensionator exploded, sending Bill home to his Dimension, postponing Weirdmageddon, and emitting a trans-dimensional energy wave which polarized the singularity outside the shack (in other words, SCIENCE!), reuniting Dipper, Phineas, Candace, Baljeet, Buford, Soos and Irving all once more (yes, it was powerful enough to return Irving from the bathroom).

Candace sighed in relief as her parents emerged from their car, smiling and waving at the gang.

"Hey kids, why don't we all go over to the picnic benches for some pie?"

As the kids ran over, Linda whispered to her husband, "Remember, all the weird stuff stays in the sack."

Lawrence nodded, placing the potato sack labeled "Weird Stuff" in the trunk next to a book entitled "Adult Puns".

As everyone turned towards the benches, Dipper grabbed Phineas.

"Hey Dipper, what—"

"No time to explain!" said Dipper, as he took Phineas by the hand, and jumped into the portal which was in the process of dissipating on the shack's lawn. They disappeared, back into the strange realm from whence Dipper had returned, the portal closing behind them before any of their friends could see where they had gone.


	22. Chapter 21

As the portal to Bill's dimension dissipated, his voice called out from the other side, _You may have one the day, Six-fingers and your band of freaks, but soon enough I'll come through with MY band of freaks, and there'll be hell to pay then! You can't keep that rift together forever! WEIRDMAGEDDON is still coming! I'll be—_

Perry stamped out the last remnant of the portal, cutting Bill off completely, save for an echo which could be made out to say, _Curse you Agents of OWCA!_ He smiled and gave a thumbs up to Ford, who smiled and returned it.

Everyone took a moment to catch their breath, and then Stan spoke up.

"So…" he said, his hand scratching his neck as he addressed Waddles and Gompers, "uh…you guys have a theme song?"

Meanwhile, outside, the gang was all enjoying a picnic lunch. All except Baljeet, who jealously sat fuming, watching Buford and Soos hit it off.

"…and then," continued Buford, "we fade to a black and white shot of a baby looking out a window, symbolizing the tenderness, yet vitality, of the human life cycle."

"Whoa, dude, you should like, be a film maker or somethin'!" responded Soos, wide eyed.

"You really think so?" asked Buford.

"Of course! I've never met someone you can adequately portray the indecency of our times through such enigmatic visual stylizations. Aint so doubt about it."

"THAT IS IT!" bellowed Baljeet, "not only is that a contraction, but it is a double negative as well!"

"Whoa, calm your tightey-whiteys!" responded Buford.

"Aint isn't really a contraction, it's more colloquial diction. Technically the word should't even exist, but given that it's used as a substitute for other contractions in the rural vernacular has resulted in its inclusion in modern dictionaries." said Soos.

Baljeet said the last part along with him. "Wow, I have never met anyone who knew such things."

"There is more to Soos than meets the eye dude." proclaimed Soos, staring into the distance for an awkward moment, then continuing, "So we good?"

"Yes, we are good… dude." said Baljeet, smiling.

"But," he frowned now, turning to Buford, "I am your nerd, and you are my bully! How do you justify spending all of your time with him, instead of bullying me!?"

"Baljeet, I _was_ bullying you." protested Buford, looking hurt.

"What?"

"I attended a bullying seminar last week, and they said the most extreme form of bullying is exclusion. I only wanted the best for you…"

Baljeet's eyes began watering. "You mean you would do that… just to bully me?"

"Of course." replied Buford, tearing up as well.

The two frenemies (who like disliking one another) hugged it out, and then Buford finished off the hug with a wedgie. Soos, eyes watering now too, picked the two up in a group hug.

"You guys are amazing, dudes! I love you so much…" he broke down crying.

"Hey," interrupted Candace, "not that this isn't wonderfully pathetic, but how did you guys get here?"

"I can only surmise," postulated Baljeet, "that an anomalous event emitted a trans-dimensional energy wave which polarized the singularity outside the shack, returning us all to our proper dimension.

"In other words, SCIENCE!" added Soos.

"Definitely for the sake of plot convenience." said Buford.

"Phineas, what do you think?" asked Candace. "Wait… where's Phineas?"

"And Dipper, for that matter!" added Soos.

Little did the group know, right then Phineas was running after Dipper in the board game's pocket dimension, right up to the crescent castle.

"Dipper," panted Phineas, "what is this place? Where are we going?"

"This the dimension we all got sucked into while playing the game!" responded Dipper, "except you!"

"But why— oh there's the giant floating rest of the baby, I was wondering where that was—- why are we here?"

"It will all make sense soon enough."

"Why can't I know the answers now?"

"Story of my life…" muttered Dipper.

The two entered the castle, and Dipper led Phineas to the room he had discovered before, pushing past all the weirdness.

"This may come as a bit of a shock," he warned Phineas, and led him inside.

Phineas gasped.


	23. Chapter 22

Phineas gasped. Standing before him was a whirlpool of color, surrounding a pocket of white light in which a small boy, probably around eight or nine, floated, looking bored. The whirlpool occasionally took on the form of a red collage of human body parts, something which greatly creeped Phineas out.

"Hello, Phineas, welcome. I am David."

"Uh… hello, David. Dipper…?"

"Phineas, this is David, the creator of the game." explained Dipper.

"David… you created the game?"

"Yes, and regrettably no one has played it since I did." said David, looking sad, "That is, until you guys came!" he looked up at Phineas and Dipper happily.

"Well, I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but cursing your game is a good way to ensure no one will want to play it."

"That's just it, Phineas," interjected Dipper, "it's not that no one played the game because it's cursed; it's cursed because no one played the game."

"What?"

"It's true," said David, "it's all due to my emotionally scarring backstory. You see, back in Gimelshtump… wait no, I mean Gravity Falls, what am I saying? Probably a reference to something I don't understand yet, time works weirdly here… anyway, back when I was just a normal kid growing up in the falls, I loved exploring the woods. One day, I discovered a journal, hidden away in the woods. It had a six-fingered hand with a number two on the front and it told of the many mystical secrets of Gravity Falls. I became obsessed, and I spent all my free time investigating all sorts of weirdness. I became an outcast…"

He showed the two boys a vision of himself as a small boy reading his journal on the side of the playground. A group of kids came up and started shouting, "Hey bookworm, you find any fairies yet?" and "Hey loser, cast a spell on me!"

"But the worst of them," continued David, "was the little toddler. I don't know how, but this tiny three year old was the biggest bully I've ever seen. He managed to get himself a gang of nine year olds, and they escorted him everywhere. They were mesmerized by his charming eyes, adorable demeanor, smooth baby-like skin, and magnificent hair. They called him… Lil' Gideon."

Phineas saw the tiny Gideon command his group of adolescent thugs. "Take that book! Now! I WANT IT!"

Like clockwork, the group of young boys jumped on David, kicking him to the ground and delivering the book to Gideon.

"Hey!" whimpered young David, "that's mine! Give it back!"

"No, it's mine!" Gideon laughed. All the boys ogled at how cute Gideon looked.

"Mr. Robinson! He took my book!" cried David to the supervising teacher. Mr. Robinson, who taught gym, walked over. "What's going on here?" he demanded.

Gideon swiftly swept through the book, and found a spell which he cast on the teacher. "Now, you can only see how amazing I am, and NOTHING ELSE."

Mr. Robinson's eyes glazed over, and he panted, "I'll do anything for you, Gideon."

"Now come, Ghost Eyes, let's go show my daddy I have mystical powers. Oh won't he be so proud…"

David ran away crying as Ghost Eyes carried Gideon and his journal out of the playground, and the vision ended.

"I decided," continued David, talking to Phineas, "that the boys didn't like me because I was always off playing by myself. I decided to try to play with them. I tried playing football, soccer ball, baseball, basketball, even Calvinball, but they didn't want to play with me in anything. I tried card games, board games… nothing worked. Finally, I decided to call up some magic from my memories of the journal, and I created a game which forced you to have fun. I didn't know what I was doing exactly, all I knew was that the game mandated fun. Magic is tricky. I tried to play with the boys, but they shunned me. I tried playing by myself, but it was no fun at all. Then, somehow, I ended up here, and I've been here ever since."

Phineas let out a breath he had not realized he was holding. "So… how long have you been here?" was all he managed in response.

"I estimate about nine years, judging by his story, but that's not important." answered Dipper, "What's important is you."

"Me?" asked Phineas.

"After hearing David's story, I figured out the common denominator in everyone's disappearance. They were sucked into the game once they stopped having fun playing it, come their turn. Mabel and Isabella got away because they weren't playing when they left. But when it was Buford's turn and he wanted to quit, he vanished. Think about everyone else… it holds true. Same for David, same for me. You couldn't get sucked into the game even if you wanted to because you never stopped having fun. Even when all looks grim, Phineas Flynn never stops having fun." Dipper was smiling now at Phineas, and Phineas returned the smile bashfully.

"In all my years here," said David, "I have learned how to return to the real world, yet I have never wanted to. Dipper here promised that if I returned him and his friends to the real world, he'd bring someone back who could convince me it's worth returning. He brought me you."

"I though a trans-dimensional energy wave reversed the polarity—" Phineas was cut off.

"No, it was me. Now, you'll tell me why I should enjoy my summer days, and return to earth?"

"Summer? Man, where do I begin… Well, what does summer mean to you?" asked Phineas.

"Gathering data, being kicked…" began David.

"No," interrupted Phineas, "I was think more along the lines of this…"

And then music appeared from no discernible source, and Phineas began to sing.

"Summer is runnin' through the sprinklers in your T-shirt, shoes and jeans

Rolling down a grassy hill, yeah, that's what summer means to me

It's true

There's so much more to do

The days are longer

The nights are shorter

The sun is shining

It's noticeably warmer

Summer, every single moment is worth it's weight in gold

Summer, it's like the world's best story and it's waiting to be told

It's ice cream cones and cherry soda dripping down your chin

It's summer, man, where do we begin?"

David smiled slightly.

"Dipper, why don't you take a verse?"

"Me?" Dipper was shocked.

"Sure, you seem like you've really enjoyed spending summer here in Gravity Falls. You try!"

"But I don't sing…"

"Just try." Phineas smiled encouragingly.

Dipper thought for a moment. What did summer mean to him? then he began to sing, somewhat awkwardly.

"Summer, it's hanging with your Grunkle way deep down in the woods

Summer is exploring with your sister and having fun just like you should

going on all sorts of whacky adventures yeah that's what summer means to me

It's fun

when you're with someone

the days are longer

the nights are shorter

the sun is shining

it's noticeably warmer…"

Phineas and Dipper sang together.

"Summer, every single moment is worth it's weight in gold!

Summer, it's like the world's best story and it's waiting to be told!

It's questing with your besties and siblings, enjoying being a kid

It's summer, man, where do we begin?

Again!

Summer, it's all kinds of excitement that's worth way more than gold

Summer, it's the best crossover story just waiting to be told

It's spending time with those in your life, who mean the most to you

It's summer, now what're you gonna do?"

David was tearing up as the song came to a close. "Sounds fun… Well, I guess I could give it a shot."

Phineas and Dipper cheered, and high-fived. "Alright, now how do we get home?" asked Dipper.

Suddenly, deformed zombie-like ghoulish spirits emerged from the walls of the castle, blood dripping from their glowing eyes. The sky went from colorful to black and red, streaks of lightning being accompanied by wails of pain. The demonic apparitions began closing in on the three children, chanting "You must not leave" repeatedly.

"Yeah, about that…" said David nervously, "we kind of need another trans-dimensional energy wave."

"What!?" Phineas and Dipper yelled together.

"You lied to me! You can't get us back?" Dipper pointed an accusatory finger at David.

The monsters were closing in.

"We're stuck here!?"


	24. Chapter 23

The ghoulish apparitions dripped blood as they sauntered ever forward, jaws slack and eyes glowing, bringing an aura of death an despair to David, Phineas, and Dipper as they closed in on them.

"Should this be the end, my new friends," said David, "I would like to say that you have shown me the true meaning… of friendship."

"You guys taught me a lesson about friends and family, and not getting too sucked into magic to appreciate them." added Dipper.

"You guys helped me remember why I seize the day every day, and spend summer the way I do… though I still have no idea where that song is from…" added Phineas.

Then, as the three boys were engulfed by the demonic hoard, they embraced, ready for the end, until they heard a sound which made Phineas smile:

"MEAP!"

To which he happily exclaimed, "Meap!"

A portal opened up directly above the boys, and from it descended Meap, blasting the ghouls to oblivion with his concentrated rainbow beam of cuteness. Then, from the portal descended Blendin.

"Quick, Dipper! Phineas! David! Grab on!"

The next thing the boys knew, they were in the middle of the woods, with Blendin and Meap appearing right behind them.

"Blendin?" asked Dipper.

"Meap?" asked Phineas.

"What?" asked David.

"This is Blendin," explained Dipper, "he stops quantum anomalies as part of an elite force of time-police."

"And this is Meap," explained Phineas, "he's adorable."

"Meap." said Meap.

"Oh, he's also a space-police type guy." he added. "It's a shame he doesn't have a mustache or he could tell you himself…"

"Ok…" Dipper and David said together.

"We were assigned together as partners, Space and Time patrol, after word of your timelines intersecting came to my superiors via an other-worldly power." said Blendin.

An image flashed through his mind of Time Baby and the Giant Floating Baby Head just sitting there staring at one another intently.

"Aaaaanyway," Blendin continued, "was that the only other dimension you've been to today?"

"What do you me—" Dipper was cut off.

"This is very important, was that the only other dimension you've been to?"

"Yes, I think so…" said Phineas, with a distant look in his eyes, almost as if he were struggling to remember something forgotten.

"Meap."

"Good. Your timelines are far more complex than you realize. Phineas, Dipper, as someone from the future, trust me when I say the two of you mustn't go dimension jumping, understand?"

"Blendin, wha—"

"Meap!"

"Fine." the boys agreed.

"Great," Blendin looked relieved, "Meap, go ahead and make a report, I'll stay here and do some reconnaissance, make sure everything's on the up and up. Boys, you're free to go."

The three boys thanked the Time and Space duo, before walking off in the direction in which they were directed. Meap hopped inside his ship and blasted off, leaving Blendin behind.

Bill sat on the etherial plane, observing Blendin, and said to himself, _Well, I do need a pawn outside the shack, and Doof failed… let's see what I can do with this loser…"_

Elsewhere, Irving was retelling his Over the Garden Wall fan fiction to the gang.

"And then Steven and Rick help the Ice King and the fish destroy the Death Star, the end."

Just as everyone was about to fall asleep, Phineas, Dipper, and David emerged from the group.

"Guys!" everyone yelled, running to greet their friends with hugs and laughter.

"We were so worried… who is this?"

The boys told the story of what happened to them and who they had met, and the group decided that as there was still half a day left, they would spend it giving David a little taste of summer. The boys all went into the woods, while Candace left to go find Wendy again.

 _AN: the following events are set to a mashup of the Gravity Falls theme song and the Quirky Worky Song._

They went rafting in the river, hiking in the woods, and climbing up the mountains. They fought ghost pirates and ran with the Manotaurs. They build forts in the woods, went tree climbing, and spelunking. They talked to magical bears, and they swung from ropes. They raced in wagons down the hillside. They had all kinds of outdoorsy fun, laughing all the while. All in all, it was an extravagant day in the forest by the falls.

Finally, once the montage came to a close, the boys all lay, basking in the yellow light in a grassy clearing in the woods.

"Well, _that_ was a summer day well seized!" exclaimed Phineas, slumping down next to Dipper.

"Yeah… hey, Phineas, can I tell you something?" asked Dipper.

"Of course."

"Well, I thought that this summer would be the best summer ever, but then I started noticing all these weird things about the falls… I don't want to get you into any more danger, but this place just isn't what it seems. And I… I feel like I've wasted my summer. I've been so obsessed with the weird and dangerous that I haven't really taken any time for myself. But today… I met you, and I saw that it's impossible for you not to have fun. You're just so positive and upbeat… It's like summer belongs to you. You never got bogged down, even towards the end of that awful game, and you sure as heck know how to have a great time. And then I met David, and I realized, it's my friends and family that make it all worthwhile. And I resolve to enjoy my summer… just like you. I just don't know where to start…"

Phineas was deeply touched.

"Thanks Dipper, but you know summer is for everyone. I'm glad I could help you realize the value of Carpe Diem. But y'know, I wouldn't be able to have any of my summer fun without Ferb…"

Ferb gave a thumbs up.

Dipper saw what he was getting at.

"I guess… I could start with going and apologizing to Mabel?"

Phineas smiled and nodded.

The boys all got up and began making their way back to the Mystery Shack. as they returned from the woods, they noticed it was getting very dark, and they could barely see anything. As they were about to head inside, when suddenly they were blinded by a flash of light and a loud roar.

"At last, I see the light, and it's like the sky is new!" yelled Soos.

"It's the fuzz!" yelled Buford.

"It is another convenient plot device!" yelled Baljeet.

 ** _Author's Note:_** _Well, that's the end of chapter 23. Yes, I do love cliff hangers. And now, an announcement. Much like Phineas and Ferb has done, and Gravity Falls will soon do,_ ** _this story will be ending_** _, after chapter 25. You may have noticed I have set up for a sequel, "Gravity Falls: Across the Second Dimension", on which I am beginning to work, though I am not sure if I should release it just yet (If you are interested in reading it, let me know, it would help me gage my readership for the story, thanks), as I may be writing a Calvin and Hobbes story next (let me know if you're interested in that). I have done everything I can to make this story as authentic as possible, designing it as an hour long Phineas and Ferb special episode which crosses over with Gravity Falls. I have included references both hidden and in plain sight throughout, and I have expanded upon some elements of the shows. I have been setting up for the next episodes of both series, even bridging some gaps between "The Last Mabelcorn" and "Roadside Attraction". The last chapters will wrap everything up, give some time to characters I may have overlooked a bit, and include a grand finale musical number(yes!). It has been very fun writing this story, I hope you all have enjoyed it. I would like to thank Marissa, Todd, and all of my dedicated readers. Please leave your feedback, and Thank you._


	25. Chapter 24

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE GRAVITY FALLS TOURIST APPRECIATION CONCERT, FEATURING LOVE HANDEL AND SEV'RAL TIMEZ TOGETHER ON STAGE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVERRRRR!" announced a booming voice.

As the boys blinked their eyes back into focus, they saw that the clearing outside the Mystery Shack had been transformed into amphitheater, and was filled to the brim with tourists, mostly from Danville and the Tri-State area, as well as townsfolk of the falls. There sat a stage at the convergence point of the crowd's seats, on which stood the two towns' favorite bands, shaking hands and preparing to play the night away.

"Oh great," muttered Dipper under his breath, "another crossover gimmick."

Phineas was in awe. Normally it would be he who would have organized such an event, but this time he was at a loss. Who could have done this? He glanced over at his step-brother.

"Ferb?"

"Don't look at me, I was with you guys this whole time." Ferb replied.

Just then, the boys saw the crowd part as Isabella, Mabel, Wendy, and Candace made their way over.

"Isabella?" Phineas gasped, "Whatcha doin?"

"While you boys were off galavanting, we decided to throw this little shindig. We thought it would really bring our groups together."

"But how did you manage all of this? Didn't you need some help? You could've asked me…" responded Phineas, feeling a bit left out.

"No need," Isabella replied, "I called the Fireside Girls. They got their 'Getting places unrealistically fast' patches, followed by their 'Using cartoon logic' patches. Oh, I almost forgot the 'Breaking the Fourth Wall' patch!"

The boys looked over to where the Fireside Girls were on stage crew, and waved. Dipper looked back to see Mabel, smiling gently at him behind almost tearing eyes.

"Uh, excuse me guys, I'll be right back…" he said, before inviting Mabel to join him on a walk. As they left, the group split up into factions. Irving, Buford, Baljeet, Soos, and David decided to check backstage, Phineas and Ferb greeted their parents, and Candace and Wendy went for a walk through the crowd together.

"So," Candace asked once they were done talking about their duck plushies (which they both had, go figure), nearly shouting over the restless crowd, "did you bust your brothers today?"

"Actually, Candace," laughed Wendy, "I didn't need to. I realized that the Corduroys all have one thing in common: our lumberjack skills. I found a way to bond with my brothers and my father at the same time— building this stage. My father and I got to talking, and I think we worked through some stuff. I think you should try it with your family. No schemes, no crazy, just… talk."

Candace silently considered this as they kept walking. Soon, the two girls reached a clearing, where Wendy's gang was watching Thompson being attacked by a group of snakes.

Just then, Candace heard, "Get off me, ya creep!" She turned and saw Robbie being flung on the ground, having been punched in the face by none other than Vanessa Doofenshmirtz herself.

"Can you believe this guy Wendy?" laughed Vanessa, blowing off her fist.

"I know, right? The nerve!" laughed Wendy right back.

"Wait you guys know each other?" Candace gasped.

"Yeah," explained Vanessa, "we met yesterday when my dad brought me up here. We were both avoiding other people, and wound up bumping into each other."

Robbie groggily got up, eyeing Candace.

"And just who might you be?" he asked, trying to come off as suave.

"Not interested." replied Candace.

As the three girls walked away, Vanessa patted Candace on the back.

"Way to go girl, you don't need no man to stand up for you."

"Yeah," replied the redhead, "but I still miss Jeremy. It's all right though, because I have you guys… and I couldn't ask for better friends."

"Should we tell her now?" asked Wendy of Vanessa, seemingly getting very excited.

"Tell me what?"

"Let's just say I called in a favor from a friend of mine…" Vanessa smiled. Before Candace could question what that meant, a roar and a light flew right by over her head, before disappearing into the crowd a short ways away. As the crowd parted, up strode Monty Monogram, who hugged Vanessa after collapsing his jetpack. Behind him was Jeremy.

"Hey babe, I got flown in."

"JEREMY!?"

"I wouldn't want to miss the show, now would I?"

Jeremy and Candace held each other in romantic embrace as Monty reunited with Vanessa. "So, what a party eh?"

Suddenly, Wendy pulled Vanessa quickly aside. "Now, when you say friend…?" Wendy began.

Vanessa smirked. "Go for it girl."

They turned, and Vanessa introduced Wendy to Monty.

"…So…" Monty gathered himself as the music started up, "do you dance?"

"Well, um, I—" Wendy stuttered, until Vanessa butted in, "She'd love to."

Meanwhile backstage, introductions were being made.

"Hi, I'm Buford." stated Buford to Grenda.

"HI I'M GRENDA, PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR AQUAINTENCE!" shouted Grenda in reply.

When the two shook hands, both were equally amazed that the other's hand could withstand the full force of their grip.

"Uh… Tough Gum?" offered Buford. (TOUGH GUM!)

"MY FAVORITE!" Grenda replied.

"Yes, and I am Candy." whispered Candy.

Baljeet just gaped, before a swift elbow from Buford prompted him to say, "And I am Baljeet. Charmed."

"I'LL SAY!"

"Quick, Baljeet, get the bear suit!" Buford whispered.

Soos observed Buford and Grenda staring at one another, along with Candy and Baljeet staring at one another, and announced, "I am Soos, the checkered flag of the human race."

From a small ways away, Ginger frowned. "I don't like that girl."

"Oh get over it," Gretchen assured her, before going off to dance with David.

Ginger walked over, grabbed Baljeet by the collar (who was now sweating profusely), and began dragging him away, telling him, "C'mon, the dancing's about to start."

"Oh yes right of course…" Baljeet sputtered.

As they left backstage, so did the two bands, who took stage and began to play.

 _AN: So you guys know the drill by now, the song is similar to "Rebel Let's Go", and is sung together by Love Handel and Sev'ral Timez. It's plays in the background of the next few scenes, but here are the lyrics in case you were interested._

ST: "You guys are hard rock

LH: And you guys are pop

ST: Now we're gonna play together

LH: And we're never gonna stop

ST: So we're gonna grab our auto

LH: and we'll grab our tunes

LH: Our following of adults

ST: And ours of teen swoons

CHORUS (Together):

Oh yeah, when our worlds collide

with a low bass, and vocals high

Oh yeah, when our worlds collide

Oh yeah, we're gonna coincide

when our worlds collide!

Worlds collide!

Oh yeah Oh yeah

Worlds collide!"

The music was enjoyed immensely by the crowd, which now sprung to life in a dancing mob of joy. All partook in the festivities, save the Mystery Twins, sitting by the side. Just as Dipper was about to try to say something, Isabella strode up.

"Hey guys, sorry to bother you. Can I borrow Mabel for just a second?" Dipper sighed, and gestured for Mabel to go ahead.

"Are you sure this whole 'hard to get' thing is gonna work, Mabel?" Isabella asked eagerly, once they were secluded.

"Wait for it…" Mabel replied.

Just then, Phineas ran up to them.

"Isabella, I've been looking all over for you! The band is playing, and I thought if you weren't busy…"

"Why Phineas, are you asking me to dance with you?" blushed Isabella.

"Why yes, yes I am." smiled Phineas.

As the two walked away together, Isabella mouthed "YES" back to Mabel, who mouthed back, "KEEP THAT GOING AND AFTER AROUND TEN YEARS OF BACK AND FORTH MESSING WITH EACH OTHER HE MIGHT FINALLY KISS YOU."

To which Isabella mouthed in reply, "WHAT?"

Mabel returned to see Dipper laughing at something Pacifica said as she passed by.

"What was that?" Mabel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing, she asked me if I wanted to dance, I said I was waiting on someone. Look, Mabel… I'm sorry, about… well, about everything. I guess I let my insecurities get the better of me, and I'm sorry. I love you, y'know. And today, thanks to you, I actually pushed myself… I had fun with my friends, I seized this day of summer. But I never should've said those things—"

"It's fine, sometimes I do get carried away…" Dipper followed Mabel's slightly sad gaze to where Ferb and Vanessa were dancing in the crowd. Dipper inhaled sharply.

"Hey, let's both agree, no more pointless summer romance fails, ok?" suggested Mabel.

"Deal. Awkward sibling hug?"

"Awkward sibling hug."

The two hugged, then came the "Pat pat."

"Let's never part…" whispered Mabel.

Dipper was worried that he and his sister were ever so slightly growing apart already, but he did not want to ruin the moment. He could deal with that later. It wasn't the end of the world, right?

The two got up and began to dance, until they saw that Vanessa was saying goodbye to Ferb, so that she could catch an early flight to her Mom's. Ferb was left alone, until who else but Pacifica Northwest came up and offered him a dance.

Dipper and Mabel's jaws dropped.

"So, uh… let's make a deal to not make deals, ok?" Dipper shrugged, grinning eagerly.

"Deal!"

Mabel and Dipper blasted through the crowd, one grabbing Ferb and the other Pacifica— then switching, because they'd each grabbed the wrong partner— and began to dance the night away.

"You always know just what to say!" shouted Mabel at the still silent Ferb.

Dipper and Pacifica laughed, and all the friends danced together in the front row.

Through his "Creep-o-noculars", Stan watched the whole thing from the roof of the Mystery Shack. He sniffed back tears, whispering to himself, "They're growing up. My kids, and… other kids… Also, who'dve thought I'd ever use these for more than looking at fully clothed women?… I need to reexamine my life a little bit…"

Doof came up and sat next to him awkwardly.

"So, I uh…"

"Look," Stan cut him off, "There's been a lot of gushy dialogue in this chapter, so how's about I forgive you, you forgive me for whatever I could've possibly done off screen, and let's be friends, eh?"

"Was that a fourth wall joke?" asked Doof smiling.

"You'd better believe it." Stan smiled back.

"Aw, you!"

"Let's dance, Bromeo!"

And thus the two Creepy Old Guys danced the night away atop the Shack, exchanging bits of witty advice to one another about evil and tourism, and it took all of five minutes for them to realize they were one and the same concept.

 _AN: So now we'll have the finale musical sequence, with all the kids and teens on stage. It's basically like every other finale sequence in Phineas and Ferb, upbeat and up tempo music with wailing trumpets and electric guitars, the whole shebang. It's all set against various colorful backgrounds and will occasionally cut back to the stage where they're singing. The characters are either singing or dancing or both, depending on the shot. This particular number has some influences of gospel music in it as well (don't ask, I just watched Hercules)._

"Alright guys," said Phineas, "That's enough character development, let's give them what they're here for!"

"Shipping?" asked Isabella.

"Yea— wait no, fan service!"

"Technically, that is fan service…" interjected Mabel.

"IIIIIIIIIII'm not so sure I'm comfortable with that…" added Dipper.

Ferb blinked.

"Well said Ferb! Let's rock and roll!" said Phineas, and cued the music.

Everyone from Danville began singing lyrics from "Today is Gonna be a Great Day" by Bowling for Soup, while everyone from Gravity Falls started humming their theme song as well.

Then, an all new tune kicked in, and everyone began rocking out.

Phineas: Today started out like any other day

Dipper: And then someone came and flipped it all about

Isabella: we had fun together, and we got along so well

Mabel: and now we know who we can't do without

Danville Crew: So it was nice meeting you

Gravity Falls Crew: And it was nice meeting you too

All: Now before we go there's something we must do

CHORUS (All):

Here's my number what is yours

there's so much we can talk about

I'll go my way you go yours

but communication we can't do without

So here's all I'm asking for, pretty much

I don't want to keep you, but keep in touch!

lalalalala, lalala

Candace: now there's something to be said about our little power hour

Wendy: our friendship was a seed and now it's blossomed to a flower

Buford, Baljeet, Soos, and David: So let's get down to being friends, closer than ever before

Everyone else: Though we may have to leave, we'll leave an open door!

CHORUS:

Here's my address what is yours

let's get together sometime soon

I'll go my way you go yours

we gotta see each other more than once in a blue moon

So here's all I'm asking for, pretty much

I don't want to keep you, but keep in touch!

lalalalala, lalala

Phineas: break it down, Ferb!

Ferb (Rapping, whilst Soos beatboxes and Mabel says "yeah" and "word" every so often in the backround, and Dipper just looks very confused and uncomfortable):

Yo, you from Oregon we from Tri-state

making our way met you by mistake

I call that fate, but now

we're more similar than different I'll show ya how

we got a platypus, he don't do much

but like your pig, he's soft to the touch

you have gnomes here we have gnomes there

and the weird stuff both places is beyond compare

we both try to make the best of summer

but every so often there's a bit of a bummer

so we go on, having fun adventures

on the same network, similar premises!

Siblings and their friends when funky stuff goes down

supernatural shenanigans all across town

making the best of each and every day

we're the same at heart, what else can I say?

Now let's get back to the matter at hand

time for a solo, from our joined bands!

[Guitar solo by Love Handel followed by wordless vocals from Sev'ral Timez]

CHORUS (Up a key, with everyone singing together):

Here's my number what is yours

there's so much we can talk about

I'll go my way you go yours

but communication we can't do without

So here's all I'm asking for, pretty much

I don't want to keep you, but keep in touch!

Here's my address what is yours

let's get together sometime soon

I'll go my way you go yours

we gotta see each other more than once in a blue moon

So here's all I'm asking for, pretty much

I don't want to keep you, but keep in touch!

ONE MORE TIME!

(No music, just vocals, and a bit slower, almost sadder)

we will miss you when we go

we have to meet again

won't you miss us when we go

we really must stay friends

So here's all I'm asking for, pretty much

I don't want to keep you, but keep in touch…

[Everyone quietly hums their respective theme music, like before, except with no words, and it gradually gets quieter until it fades away. Then, the music kicks back in and it's back to the upbeat finale we all crave]

We're glad we met, and we grew so close

we have to meet again

hard to believe— we'd ever come so far!

we really must stay friends

So here's all we're asking for, until the very end

Keep in touch, thanks so much, let's just all stay FRIENDS!

LET'S ALL STAY FRIENDS

LET'S ALL STAY FRIENDS

YEAH!

(Insert cheesy jumping freeze frame sequence here, just for fun)

 _AN: Well, that's the last real chapter. There'll be one more, just to wrap things up, but that's all. I will also discuss my decision on whether or not I should write a sequel next chapter, so stay tuned._


	26. Epilogue (Credits Sequence)

_AN: The following is the scene played in the top half of the screen as the credits roll at the end of both shows._

It was early the next morning when Major Monogram spoke through the screen of Ford's study to Stan, Ford, and Perry.

"…So," he was saying, "Using the Blind Eye device, Agent P will wipe the memory of Agents W and G from your minds, effectively negating their existence in this entire canon. Of course, if it turns out their existence as OWCA Agents doesn't contradict anything, I don't see any reason for that not to be canon, am I right?"

"Sir, you're doing it again…" whined Carl from off screen.

"Exposition is my job, Carl!"

Meanwhile, outside, the children were all saying goodbye to one another. Dipper, Mabel, Phineas and Ferb parted from a group hug.

"Bye Ferb," giggled Mabel, as Ferb winked back at her.

"Bye guys, enjoy the rest of your summer! And remember, like the song said, keep in touch!" Phineas said, waving as he walked towards the car, passing by Wendy and Candace exchanging phone numbers.

"Bye Phineas, bye Ferb!" Dipper waved back.

Mabel and Isabella hugged and shared some whispers, most likely about romantic stuff Dipper thought, before Isabella too got into the car.

"Hey, where is Perry?" asked Baljeet, before seeing Perry climb out from under the Shack. "Oh, there he is."

As Buford said Goodbye to Soos with an unbelievably complex full body handshake, Perry winked at Waddles and Gompers.

Soon the Flynn-Fletcher car was all loaded up, with family, close friends, and luggage (even some souvenirs from the Shack, like the new Pine Tree hat Phineas was wearing, or the Moon and Star Fez and eyepatch set that Ferb was wearing). The rest of the Danville crew had flown back the night before, earning the Fireside Girls what Buford called the "Sake of plot convenience" patch. David had decided to take to the roads as a hitchhiker, see the world, and employ the philosophy Carpe Diem from now on.

As everyone said and waved goodbye, Mabel caught Dipper humming "Keep in Touch", and swiftly elbowed him in the ribs.

"What?" he coughed, "it's catchy!"

As the little red car drove away, Phineas exclaimed, "Wow, what a great place, huh? I can't wait to come back."

Everyone agreed.

"Yup."

"Ditto."

"Agreed."

"Well, that might be inconvenient, from a plot perspective…" shrugged Buford.

"So where to now, Dad?"

"Well boys, we're off to Jeffsville in the Quad-state Area for the weekend, to spend time with Aunt Tiana and Uncle Bob at their new place. After that, your friends are flying home, and we'll be renting an RV for our traditional Family Road Trip! Does that sound Ok to you?"

From far outside the car, everyone heard a snap and a man call out "Ok!" from the distance.

"Wow," said Phineas, "I hope we see a good old fashioned Truck Stop!"

"My fanboy sense is tingling!" said Baljeet.

Back at the Shack, Ford was studying the rift he had contained.

"I can't hold onto it forever like this, Bill is only getting stronger by the minute… No, I've got to seal it. I must find out how! Perhaps an adhesive of some kind… I must get right on this…"

Outside the Shack, Stan greeted the kids.

"So, what do you two want to do today?" he asked.

"Well," Mabel suggested, "maybe we could go on a road trip?"

Stan turned that thought over in his head.

"Hmmm," he said to himself, "it is close to prank season…"

Meanwhile, Dipper sat on the steps, scratching his chin.

"I feel like we're forgetting something…"

What Dipper did not see, however, was Doofenshmirtz stumbling around the other side of the Shack, being attacked by gnomes.

"Oh, you guys again, what does a guy have to do around here to avoid being ironic comic relieeeeeeeeee!"

Doof was tripped by the Gnomes and toppled over into the bottomless pit. After him, Steve called down, "Bewege dich nicht!" which meant "don't move" in Drusselsteinien.

He fell ever downward, screaming for about fifteen minutes straight, until he opened his eyes and realized he wasn't alone. Falling next to him was Irving, looking rather excited.

"So, you wanna hear my new fan fiction?" asked Irving.

Doof sighed. "Eh, might as well."

 **THE END**

(cue Phineas and Ferb ending guitar noise)

 _AN: Well, that's it. That's "Phineas and Ferb go to Gravity Falls". I had a plan from the beginning, and I feel I've accomplished all I've set out to do. I've tried to create a crossover in its purist form, and I think to the best of my ability I've done so. Additionally, I've led into episodes of both shows and explained certain elements to maintain continuity. Thank you all for being here, for reading, favoriting, and most of all reviewing. A few closing thoughts: There's something to be said about a crossover between these two shows in particular. They work better together than any other shows I've seen, making Jimmy Timmy Power Hour look like Family Guy meets Dora (let's pray that never happens). Hence, I feel a simple, pure crossover like this had to be made. That's why I engineered this story as an hour long Phineas and Ferb special that crossed over with Gravity Falls— that's how it's meant to be. This is why, secondly, I've reached the conclusion that I won't be writing "Gravity Falls: Across the Second Dimension", at least not for the foreseeable future. If and only if I get an immense number of requests, I may reconsider, but the fact is I feel I've accomplished all I want with this story. Third, I would love to see one of my readers perform and record one of my musical numbers here (it's have to be a matching original tune), and send it to me or post it on YouTube. Who knows, if that happened I might write the sequel and dedicate it to that person. ;) Finally, in keeping of Gravity Falls tradition, I'll leave you with a code. The key to decipher it lies in something that Doofenshmirtz said in the story. It's been an amazing experience writing this for you guys, and to make one final reference,_ **Thank you for coming along!**

QGLR;A RGW OTELNUS IB RGW VLXJ ID RGW IBW

L SIKKLE VUKK~


End file.
